The Savoring No. 022 - It Takes a Community

“But online friends ARE real friends,” she said knowingly.

Now that I am stepping away from design, I have been working on my next business chapter and I keep coming back to the same thing. Community.

When I was diagnosed with leukemia, my local community came to my rescue on the home front. Meals were made, Otis was walked, Colton had places to sleep and those to sleep at home with him.

I am forever grateful that side of my life was managed for me by my amazing local posse.

There is another community that also jumped in to help. The one I have created online. When I shared my diagnosis, I received hundreds of comments. I read every single one. The DMs poured in and they never stopped. Each one a little butterfly of light that fluttered in and lifted me each day as I fought.

I’m grateful every minute of every day for my online community and I want to create more of it. For me, of course, but also for other women.

This mid-life-ish chapter is unchartered territory. So much is happening and also, so little.

These years are often referred to as the invisible years for women. Forgotten by society, nothing left to offer, parenting boxes checked, our ovaries gasping for air. We are expected to now fade into the background and slowly disappear.

To borrow a saying from my youth, “F*ck that noise.”

Yes, our kids and our hormones are exiting stage right. But unlike our ovaries, we are still breathing and we are left with a couple of options.

Wallow and whine or redefine.

Say it with me (said in my best John Cage voice). RE-DE-FINE.

Wrinkles, menopause, aging parents, the Frankenstein march to the bathroom every night to pee, injuring your back while sneezing. Yes, we are dealing with all those things.

BUT ALSO … we are smart, feisty, creative, kind, wise. We have too much to offer this world, ourselves and others to just fade off.

We have voices that need to be heard. Wisdom that must be shared. This is our time to redefine our lives, chase those dreams we kept thinking we might reach for someday.

It’s someday. Let’s reach. Together.

Introducing The Savoring Collective (The SC)

The Savoring Collective is going to a community for women who are interested in supporting, uplifting, learning, advising, sharing, comforting, being creative and finding joy with other, like-minded, women. A place to find a virtual hug, a fun new hobby, a new career path and most importantly a community of women who will cheer you on every step of the way.

I’m working on getting all of the pieces in place behind the scenes and can’t wait to announce a firm launch date.

In the meantime, I’m looking for a small test group. Around 25 women who want to join The Savoring Collective and are so excited they want to be a part of the initial trial. You would give me feedback and answer questions over the next few weeks in exchange for a six month free membership. If you are interested in being a founding SC member, please reply to this newsletter with “I’m in!”.

My dreams for the SC community:

• A robust chat area filled with community love and support.

• Weekly education across multiple platforms. One week the SC might offer an online sourdough workshop, the next an AI workshop. A financial stability workshop and a how-to-meditate-for-real-people who don’t speak guru session.

• A weekly positivity-focused speaker. We need more uplifting and inspiring spaces in our lives. The negativity has been allowed to run roughshod for far too long.

• I want to eventually host local Savoring Collective meetups in different cities and retreats here in San Diego.

• I want to offer perks like community discounts, freebies, amazing free workshops and incredible women speakers.

I have so many ideas and can’t wait to see how the journey unfolds. Here’s a question for all of you. One of the biggest hurdles I’m currently facing is where to host the community. I would love your feedback in the poll below.

• Here and Zoom - I find the chat/discussion section a bit wanting but that could improve.

• Facebook Groups - I have a hard time supporting this platform but I’m a hypocrite as I use Instagram. Facebook Groups has all the tools we would need but it’s Facebook. Do any of you even use Facebook anymore?

• Circle.so (or something similar) - More robust membership community but it would require you to join a new platform and learn how to use it.

Every night when I get in bed, I list out what I am grateful for. I include this amazing community that has loved and supported me. I appreciate all of you. Thank you for reading The Savoring each week. I do not take for granted that you take the time out of your life to read what I have to say. It means a lot.

And now on to what I’ve savoring and sharing this week.

These Words to Live By
“I am out with lanterns looking for myself.” - Emily Dickinson

It is my humble opinion that every day is a new day to seek more of who you are and if you aren’t doing that, you aren’t living.

This Smooth Fire Playlist
I was lying in bed one night last week rewatching yet another episode of Ally McBeal and I was, long after I should have been asleep, to create a playlist of some of my favorite oldie but goodie sing-a-longs.

This GF Cornbread Recipe
It was cold and rainy all week here. An hour and a half away in Ranchita, where the guys are working on our new retreat hosting property, it was snowing. They left around 5:30 am on Thursday and after working all day in the cold, drove home. Comfort food was on the menu. I made my slow cooker chili and tried out a new gluten free cornbread recipe I found online. It was incredible.

This Snow at Ranchita
Noah took this photo at Ranchita just as the snow started to fall. We all felt like it looked like something from back in the colonial days.

This Non Substack Read
I am spending a lot of time reading and researching community benefits these days. This article was worth sharing. “I want community - but am I prepared to put the work in?”

These Flowers
We hosted a gathering yesterday and these flowers from a good friend brightened my sad mood. Our middle son is moving to New Hampshire where his girlfriend’s family is and where she was raised. We are beyond sad they are leaving and also beyond excited for them and their new adventure. I’ve had him close for 28 years. I’m choosing to focus on my gratitude and that I get to go visit Portsmouth, NY this winter.

This Crudité Platter
Speaking of his girlfriend. Morgan offered to make a crudité platter for the gathering. What she made was an edible work of art.

This “Vacation”
We took a quick overnight to a little hotel called Jacumba Hot Springs Hotel. It is an odd little place in the middle of absolutely nowhere that stares out to the giant wall that lines our border between San Diego and Mexico. The magic is in walking through the front door. You forget you are nowhere, and the wall outside, and the fact that surely nearby someone is strumming a banjo. We had a wonderful time with good friends so that is always a win.

Our room was cozy and beautifully lit.

The bar was so dark you wondered what they were trying to hide. It certainly wasn’t the boobs.

I have no idea if I would recommend it. You will have to decide for yourself.

This Clean Item
I love this volumizing mascara from Ilia. I have searched for a good, clean mascara for a long time and finally found one. Five out of five stars.

This She Shed Update
My future candle dipping room is coming along. Maybe by May?

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