The Sunday Savoring No. 033, Naming Our Loud Voice, Fear and Saying F*ck It

"But what if Janice shut the f*ck up," she wondered with clenched fists.

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I live with fear. Failure. Cancer. Anxiety. Not creating enough or doing enough or leaving enough behind.

Does anyone live without fear? Call me. I’ve got money and I’m not afraid to spend it. (It will need to come with a money back guarantee.)

There are two ways to live with fear. You can let it paralyze you. Keep you from dreaming. From living.

Or you can, as the old cliche goes, feel it and do it anyway.

I feel it, crushingly often, and I keep doing it anyway.

Except occasionally when Janice, the mean spirited, slightly misunderstood voice in my head, gets really loud. Ringing in my ears loud. So loud she drowns out everything else.

I started building The Savoring Collective, an online social community for women in their late forties and beyond seeking to reconnect with themselves, and Janice cracked her knuckles, did a line of coke and got busy.

You aren’t good enough to pull that off. You might die. No one is going to show up. EMBARRASSING. You’re going to waste your remaining time here building something that likely won’t work. Is that a bruise on your shin? Is that paper cut healing slowly? You are too old. Who would listen to you? What do you know about online communities?

She was loud, I listened. The Savoring Collective idea was shut down. I told everyone it was just too much work. I’m not afraid of work. It was too much fear. And fucking Janice.

I had a lot of time to think on my roadtrip. To sort out my mind a bit. To differentiate between the noise and the clarity. I realized I REALLY REALLY want to create this community.

I don’t care if there’s only ten of us. We can read books together, talk about life, our passions, ourselves. We are worth talking about.

My first order of business? An online gathering where we draw pictures of our inner voices and throw darts at them, cheering each other on. Look out Janice, we’re coming for you.

We can sit together on a video conference and create art or read or needlepoint with calming music. We can learn new hobbies together, get support from professionals together.

I want to share a monthly recipe for two. In August I am going to share my Mediterranean wrap with hummus and garlic yogurt sauce. I’ve had it three times this week and it’s so good. If I do say so myself.

I want to talk about things like our gut health and how it’s connected to our mental health and our overall physical health. Let’s talk about sex and menopause. Aging sexy (if you care to). I want to share ideas, shows, books and anything else we are feeling.

I have no idea what the future holds, what my life or The Savoring Collective will look like in six months, a year or a decade. I don’t care. I’m doing it anyway. I want an adult playground filled with my online and offline friends who are all my age, going through all the same life changes. So which nine of you are going to join me?

A simple what-what in the comment section will suffice as your ticket to entry. But, if you are feeling share-y, feel free to share this Savoring with friends. Maybe they would like to be a part of the community as well.

And don’t forget I will be hosting a free happiness challenge the entire month of August. Why not share that too? Good friends don’t keep happiness to themselves. And don’t we all need more happiness these days?

No. 01 This Quote
A strong women looks a challenge in the eye and winks. - Gina Carey
Some days it’s hard to distinguish between an eye twitch and a wink, but I hear you Gina. *wink, wink*

No. 02 This Playlist
Speaking of what-whats. This playlist is taking me back to my younger days and making me feel sexy again. Windows down, cooking, gardening. I’m banging(ish).

No. 03 These Not Sweats (mostly)
These are my current favorite jeans. They look great with a simple tank and flip flops or a white button down and heels. They may LOOK like sweat pants but they are NOT sweat pants. Baby steps.

No. 04 This Weekend Find
Antique stores are my happy place. I try and get to one of my local favorites weekly. So many stories sit inside those walls. I’m currently looking for a couple of nightstands for our guest house. We are going to start renting it out and I have been having fun redoing it since our son moved out and east. Photos coming next week. Anyone heading to San Diego this summer? DM me for details. P.S. Fresh sourdough bread, flowers and a basket of whatever is in season is just one of the many perks of staying here.

I didn’t find nightstands but I found this adorable scalloped vase and I am quite smitten with it.

No. 05 This Little Guy
Is it even a Savoring Newsletter if I don’t include Otis?

No. 06 This She Shed
She still isn’t finished because life has gotten in the way these days. But I will be dipping candles in there soon.

No. 07 This Garden
We have had a serious creature war this year in our garden this summer and finally have it under control. At least for now. I had to replant my tomatoes and cucumbers more than once. I am finally starting to see some tomatoes, beans and cucumbers taking shape.

No. 08 This Actress
Who else is watching The Gilded Age? I was absolutely STUNNED to find out that Carrie Coon, the actress who plays Bertha Russell on The Gilded Age is the same actress who played Laurie on season three of The White Lotus? Mind. Blown.

No. 09 This Book
Emily Henry has done it again. The perfect summer read. Romance, mystery and great characters. If you like that kind of thing, Great Big Beautiful Life is a must.

No. 010 This Substack Read
My good friend Beth, author of The Essential Jewish Baking Cookbook, recently joined Substack. I’ve known her online for quite some time and am a big fan. If you like good food and good people, check out OMG Yummy and get your cooking on.

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All products mentioned above are independently chosen, I love them and some of them might also be affiliate links. Your support is ALWAYS appreciated. - Stefanie