The Sunday Savoring #12

Waiting for the news.

Picking up where we left off …

I’ve stopped short of placing the angel on top of the tree. That oddly feels too committed. Instead she sits, like me, full of hope. Waiting. An anxious observer. The decor going up, the excitement happening all around. Caught in limbo, holding her breath, she waits for her cue. A few words sent in a text and then the festivities can begin.

I didn’t post on Wednesday. Not even a note to say, “I can’t”. The waiting was crushing me by then and I didn’t have the mental focus to type out even that simple sentence.

I went to bed on Wednesday knowing that now we were into the holiday weekend and the lab was closed and I wouldn’t find out the results until Monday.

Thanksgiving morning I put on a smile and made my way to the kitchen. My mind in a terrifying loop.

“It’s going to be ok," I told myself. “Whatever the results, you can handle it. You are strong. You can do this. Just focus on the now. Be grateful for what you have today. Stay in the now.”

I went back to cooking. I went back to looping.

I doubled the pie spices. They tasted awful. My cranberry sauce didn’t set. I overcooked the sweet potatoes so much the marshmallows actually disappeared. Angry, frustrated and trying not to cry, I went over and sat down on the sofa to regroup.

I picked up my phone that hadn’t left my side for seven days, just in case, but was now a room away, discarded and worthless until Monday. I swiped up with the intention of heading to Instagram and there it was.

I read it again. And again. And then I screamed, “JAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

I ran from room to room, outside, back inside, and then finally outside again where he was rounding the corner with his hands full of the Christmas lights he had been hanging.

I didn’t say a word, I threw my hands in the air signifying victory. He dropped the lights, moved towards me and wrapped me tightly in his arms.

We laughed as we cried. The boys came out one by one to figure out what the commotion was about and the hugging, laughter and tears multiplied.

We lingered in the joy, no words spoken. The last year of fear being fully realized only now as we exhaled together.

Eventually we unwrapped ourselves from each other and went back to our day. Me back into the kitchen to salvage dinner. JJ back to hanging our Christmas lights. The boys back to playing games.

But we were all a little different. This last year having affected us each more than we let on. All of us more aware of how fragile life can feel. More aware of how joyful it can be too.

We sat down for dinner a few hours later. The turkey was dry, the cranberry sauce was soup, the pies made you pucker. But none of it mattered.

We were here, together, gathered around the table. Grateful for the gift of good news, good-ish food and most importantly the gift of each other.

This Quote
“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.” - John Steinbeck

This Book
This is the first book I’ve opened in a long time where I was hooked within a page or two. I just want to sit by a fire all week and read. Highly recommend The Ministry of Time. Well, at least the first few chapters.

This Man & The Things He Builds Me
As a designer I am supposed to hate big screen tvs. I don’t. I love them. I love to watch football and movies and really anything else on this tv. BUT, hiding these cords and speaker have been on JJ’s to-do list for a LONG time and I am savoring that he is finally finding the time to build something to do just that.

We found some old barn wood for sale on a local Indian reservation and he is using it to build a beautiful piece to go under the tv. Can’t wait to share the final.

This Short Film
Our youngest son is an amazing writer and actor so when he says he has a short or a trailer or really anything he wants us to watch, we watch. Zen and the Art of Landscaping did not disappoint. Awkward and hilarious.

This Poem
I came across this poem in a magazine I was reading over the weekend. I’m not really a poem person, but this one hit me squarely in the feels. I was transported to a quiet snowy day where life slows down and you are happiest when you are accomplishing very little.

This Recipe
I am loving a warm bowl of oatmeal in the morning right now.

• 1 cup milk

• 1/2 cup whole oats

• Pinch of kosher salt

• Butter

• 1/2 banana, sliced

• Sliced almonds

• Brown sugar

Bring the milk and salt to a light boil.
Add oats, stir and lower heat.
Simmer for 10 minutes, stirring often, or until desired consistency.
Pour into bowl, add butter, brown sugar, banana and sliced almonds.
Enjoy.

This Winter House
I bought this beautiful house several years ago and it is one of my most favorite pieces of holiday decor. It makes me want to own a home in the mountain that looks just like this. Can you just imagine sitting inside this home by a fire with a book while the snow falls quietly outside?

This Article
For fans of Dateline, this article in Vanity Fair is for you. Did she murder her police officer husband or was she framed by the local police to cover up for one of their own?

This Coffee Shop
I went shopping with a good friend on Friday. We sat and had breakfast at the cutest little coffee shop in La Jolla. Otis approved.

This Special Sighting
In the summer it’s normal to see hot air balloons rising over our home. It’s rare this time of year. A Christmas tree and a hot air balloon? That’s some special kind of magic.

A BIG thank you to all of you who responded last week with something to distract me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated reading and distracting myself with all of your responses. You are amazing and kind and I am so grateful for all of you.

Keep those responses coming, I love to hear from you even when I don’t need a distraction. So tell me friends, what are you savoring this week?

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