The Savoring No. 031, Solo Travel, Finding Joy in Life Again & What I'm Savoring
"Traveling alone is one of life's greatest adventures," she said with a knowing smile.
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When I was in high school in the 80s and I would do the math and think how far away the year 2000 was and that I would be old AF when it arrived. That was 25 years ago. I wasn’t even 30. I didn’t feel old.
At 30, I remember thinking how old I would feel when I turned 40. Wrong again.
I turned 50 during Covid with no fanfare. I was busy bleaching my groceries, shopping for “cute” masks, making sourdough and all my kids were back in our home hunkered down with us. I didn’t really give it much thought.
The mirror told me the years were adding up but I didn’t care. No one was seeing me anyway.
As the world opened back up, I started to pay attention to my age a bit more. The kids all returned to their lives. My youngest was in high school and would soon be leaving.
I was aging and I was losing sight of purpose and value. What’s it all for? My work wasn’t bringing me joy, I felt depressed, void of value. All I knew how to be was a mom and the kids no longer needed me.
I drank too much wine at night to drown out my unhappiness. I felt lost, anxious and depressed.
Shortly after I turned 52 in 2023, I scheduled my annual physical which had been delayed because of covid. A few days in advance, as I always do, I went in for my bloodwork. I received a call from my doctor the next day that changed everything.
“There’s no easy way to say this,” she said, “I think you have leukemia.”
In under 24 hours I was in the hospital, fighting cancer. Chemo treatments 24 hours a day for seven straight days. I spent a large part of the next six months in the hospital. My experience culminated in a stem cell transplant that saved my life.
Overnight everything had changed. I was no longer sad, worried about being old, lacking value. I was craving life, desperate to be here, fighting for it.
It’s been a a little over a year and a half since my stem cell transplant. I am now cancer free.
I embrace every day, grateful to be here accumulating wrinkles. I am full of value. But not the kind I was seeking pre-cancer.
I find value and purpose in the beauty and creativity of life. In walking under the warm sun on this stunning planet. In watching the flowers grow and the birds fly. In cooking with the vegetables I’ve labored over in my garden. The things I used to rush by and take for granted are now the very things that bring me daily joy.
Cancer taught me that purpose isn’t something you find at the end of a goal, it’s found in the value of living. In seeking joy every day. In finding gratitude in the life I’ve been so very lucky to live.
You don’t need to be diagnosed with a disease or have some big life changing moment to find happiness. It’s actually quite easy. It’s literally everywhere. You just might need to change where and what you’re looking for. And make a few lifestyle changes.
No. 01 This Roadtrip with This Guy
I hit the open road today. Solo. I got a lot of interesting responses from people over the last couple of weeks when I told them I was roadtripping to Texas and back. “By yourself,” they would ask.
Don’t be ridiculous, I would never travel alone. I’m bringing Otis.
Solo travel is liberating, thought provoking and oh so quiet. Five out of five stars.
This is my first of three road trips this year. The next one is in August and I will be driving to the east coast and back. With Otis.
I’ll be posting a note a day on Substack and sharing IG stories daily. Come along for the drive!
No. 02 This Safety Item
I love to travel alone. And while I don’t feel unsafe, I’m also aware that there are dangers out there. I bring pepper spray. I actually always have pepper spray with me. On trips, walking Otis, in my car. It’s just a good idea.
No. 03 These Jumper Cables
Last year I parked next to someone at the beach whose battery had run down. I didn’t have any jumper cables in my car so I couldn’t help them and realized, like them, if that happened to me I would be stuck.
JJ did some research before my road trip and found these. They charge your battery, put air in your tires, act as a flashing light/flash light and several other things I can’t even remember.
No. 04 This Evening Tea
I love a good soothing cup of tea before bed. I searched for a good organic decaf bedtime tea for a LONG time and finally found one I love. I travel with it and my tea steeper.
No. 05 This Coffee Mug
Speaking of drink comforts, I despise a lukewarm cup of coffee. I drink out of my Yeti mug every morning and I travel with it. A morning drive, watching the sunrise with a hot cup of coffee is something worth savoring.
No. 06 These Driving Sweats
Not as cool as driving gloves, but way better.
Comfort is the name of the drive. I don’t need to be sitting six plus hours in a car with denim digging into all the wrong parts. Even shorts ride up while you drive.
I like a soft pair of sweats. These from ALO are pure comfort.
These are expensive AF but I’m here to tell you they are the perfect summer sweats (it really is embarrassing how often I talk about sweats in this newsletter) and I’ve had them for four years and they still look and feel like they did the day I bought them.
No. 07 This Symbol of Love
This morning I came across this beautiful video. So simple and so impactful. Making the LGBTQ community feel safe is a high priority for me as anyone who reads this newsletter knows. If you are also interested in being a place of love and safety, you can snag a bracelet here.
No. 08 This Newsletter
I am a big fan of Jen’s and this newsletter is what everyone needs right now. There is a lot going on and it’s hard to exhale. If you’re feeling the weight of it all, her newsletter this week, “You’re not here to hold the pain of the world.” is exactly what you need.
No. 09 This Guy
Who topped off my oil, coolant and windshield wiper fluid. He cleaned my car, bought me safety gadgets and ALWAYS supports the hell out of me and my adventures. In the words of Salt-N-Pepa, “What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.”
No. 010 This Friday Night Exhale
I love Friday nights. They culminate a week of hard work and begin a weekend of celebrating the fact that I’m not working. That guy above also makes a mean martini. Here’s to a week of earning your weekend. Enjoy friends.
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Tell me, do you travel solo?
All products mentioned above are independently chosen, I love them and some of them might also be affiliate links. Your support is ALWAYS appreciated. - Stefanie
Enjoy your travels, Stefanie.
Good to know you’re cancer free after leukaemia. A younger relative has just been diagnosed and it’s scary times, but thank goodness there are treatments that give hope.
Thank you, for the amazing article! Funny timing as I am in the Amsterdam airport traveling home, alone. My husband and I are going in different directions with both our fathers turning 90 this week. I have traveled alone on and off all my life and find a soothing peace to it. Have a good book and headphones and I am set. Your article hit home for me being over 50, kids out of the house, past career finished, and now what…. Going in circles endlessly searching for the next thing to do and make a difference. The chaos in my head was unsettling to say the least. I opted to slow down and enjoy each day. I sent your article to a few friends as well. Thank you for the reminder to treasure each day!